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Thursday, June 13, 2013

I get by with a little help from my friends...

This past weekend while having a fabulous time with friends at the Figment art installation on Governors Island - I got a call from our Broker telling us that the dream home we were set to close on in two weeks was not our home.  The Coop Board had denied us.  For those of you unfamiliar with what a NYC Coop Board is - I hesitate in telling you for there really is no need for you to keep such hatred in your brain.  

Compiled of the people who will be your neighbors - these are the folks who live in your building and decide on whether or not you are allowed to live next to them.  This interview happens AFTER you pay for a lien search, have mortgage approval, and your attorney has done their full $2000+ work of due diligence.  

During our interview with the illustrious board, my husband, myself and my mother (who is co-purchasing with us), sat in front of the 10 people who would be our neighbors and "family" in our dream home and asked us very pertinent questions such as "Why do you sign everything with your initials and not a full signature?" to "Why do you want to live here and not closer to a park for your child?"  After which we were then told by the same person there are 3 wonderful parks 3 blocks away.

I could go on, but I don't want to increase my carbon footprint with more garbage.  So after leaving and getting the call we were 99% in and they loved us - I actually allowed myself to be hopeful.

As I have shared with you all since I started this blog two years ago - life has been challenging, however it finally felt like the skies were breaking.  As you may also know - I own a company called Good Home.  This is no coincidence that a home is so much a part of my well being that I literally birthed a company in it's honor.  I believe it is every persons right to have a home base they can go to and I have been in search of that for myself and husband since my son was born 6 years ago.  

We all know bad news never comes delivered in a pretty package, however this package was quite fabulous.  I was sitting on the grass with a friend I love while watching my son and friends dancing around in costumes while a giant frog car with a DJ booth played funk tunes and it's eyes spun around hypnotically.  Figment is like Burning Man for kids and it is a wonderful free for all where you can just be - unjudged.

Something I hope every one experiences at least once in their life.

So as I started letting those know of our heartbreaking news - the replies came in.  "So sorry"  "It wasn't meant to be", "a better place is in your future" or  "this was not the place for you."  A few sent their empathy and then asked the address lol - can't blame them for being opportunists.

They were all polite, all kind and all well meant, but isn't it really true?

In my opinion no.  The fact is there may not be a better place, it was meant to be, but the 1% member who turned the Board against us single-handedly took the home away from us.  It could have very well been the place for us.  But their decision changed that.

The realty is we do not know.  There are many things we give ourselves to face uncertainty - talisman, good luck charms, religion, OCD - but the truth is there is no magic formula.  I believe in intention and hard work, but I am also learning through these challenges that it is not me or something I didn't do, or didn't work hard enough, and the people with the dream homes that I covet are not better than me or luckier - it is just their path and not mine.  While I received news I did not get my dream home - a colleague received news her husband had terminal lung cancer.  

There is not rhyme or reason - it just is.

No I will not give up, but I also will not think something is wrong with me because I didn't get the  home I so had wanted.  But instead I will cherish those friends who I had already planned dinner for in my new kitchen to celebrate - and will celebrate today in our old kitchen.  I will try not to think of what should have been mine, but what I have right in front of me.  I will fill my world with my awesome friends who don't gloss over the bad stuff - but send me texts like - this:

"Im not gona say "everything happens for a reason" because thats annoying. Lol" 

or "Let's wait it out and we will send him 20 pizzas to his office when he least expects it"

And I will make sure to read to my son the wise words of Dr. Seuss - from the book we read at our wedding nuptials - and given to me when I graduated college from an Aunt who has faced her own challenges.  

Oh the Places you will go. "You won't lag behind, because you'll have speed.  You'll pass the whole gang and you"ll soon take the lead.  Wherever you fly, you"ll be best of the best.  Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.  Except when you don't, because sometimes you won't."

Because you gotta get through the don'ts and the won'ts to truly appreciate the DJ Disco frog dancing in the sunlight, while the children play on the grass and laugh...





  1. : ( House hunting will make you second guess everything about you, including past Karmic debts you didn't know you had! Hang in there sunshine and I think you SHOULD send the pizza's, and a couple dozen boxes of Sprinkles, and ten cabs evenly spaced every 15 minutes (for the OCD)... just because immaturity makes us grown ups feel better some times! xxoo Tiffany

    1. Sigh. Thank you Tiffany! Still nothing out there and hope we get another chance! Thank you for reading and commenting! xoxo C